What's the Best Way to Raise Children? Issue 10 Home Page

Photo: S. Peters The question isn't if failure builds character or not. The most important thing is just not to make a big deal of failure. Thoughts on Raising Our Children Well Hasanuddin Rachman from Indonesia Honestly, since I have become a father with three daughters, I have thought a lot about how to raise children. I once heard a story that told about when a baby is born. The story said that when a baby is born, a new master is born. The parents of that baby will become the servants. The question is: Why? Based on my observation, this phenomenon is true. Most parents who don't pay much attention to their kids have difficulties with their kids' attitude. I'll make a comparison of how two families raise their children. The first one is a family with three children. Both mother and father never say "No" to their children's demands. As a result, all of their children became stubborn and won't listen to their parents words, "We can't." The second family educated their children strictly from one year old to high school. The parents never approved or agreed directly to give their children what they wanted. They always postponed one or two days, even if they could afford it. Due to the way their parents educated them, these children understood that if they wanted something, they had to wait or they had to make an effort first. As a result, all the kids from the second family successfully graduated from university on t me. I think, if we want to be successful parents and raise our children well, we have to start disciplining them when they are toddlers and not wait until they become teenagers. Child raising trends in my country today Nowadays there are trends among the parents in my country to encourage mothers to stay at home instead of becoming employees. The reason is the parents think that the kids need more attention from their mothers. It means for kids it's better less money than less attention from their parents, especially from their mother. In addition, there is a trend in our society, due to the fact that often parents don't pay much attention to their kids, for many kids to become difficult to control. They easily become violent, commit crimes, and do other bad things. As a result, some parents are now beginning to realize that they can't blame their children if they become strangers in their family. I think parents have two choices: get benefits from the wife's earnings or lose their kids. It's good to have both, but as a matter of fact, it's not easy at all. At last, I have reached this opinion: let's support the idea of saving our kids and welcome mother home! Thinking about how I was raised The biggest difference between my childhood and the life of children nowadays is family relationships. When I was a child about forty years ago, life seemed simple, and relationships among families very close. I knew almost all the family of my father and my mother. Even though they didn't live in the same town, they visited each other regularly, two or three times a year, even more. In addition, my family also had good relations with the neighbors. I knew all of the neighbors and was friends with their children. Even today, I still remember what I did with them. I don't know what is the cause, but nowadays there is less visiting between families. The life style has changed ; people are too busy with their own business. Now my children know only a few family members, both from my family and from their mother's. Maybe it's difficult to recover from a fast life style. Everything has changed, and people now tend to be more materialistic. They have lost happiness because they have lost the chance to have a strong relationship with a big, extended family. I often dream and wish that my children could have a childhood like mine. More on raising children: You Remember More When You Cry Than When You Smile Teach Your Children Not to Hesitate to Make Mistakes The Key is Common Sense Parents Know the Best Way Both Success and Failure Teach Character Don't Make a Big Deal Out of Failure Kids Learn More From Their Failures Parents Need to Teach Their Children How to Behave Return to: What's the Best Way to Raise Children? | Issue 10 | Home Page TOPICS Online Magazine - ©1997-2007 - Sandy and Thomas Peters - topics mag@gmail.com